Dating Profile Hair: 10 Styling Tips to Get More Matches

I'm going to say something that many people will not admit, but your hair in your dating profile picture could make the difference between getting matches and tumbleweeds blowing across the void of your empty inbox.

You know this, at least subconsciously, don't you? You've likely spent an hour holding your phone while scrolling through perspective pictures while wondering which you actually "look like you." But what most people don't consider is that your hair isn't just sitting on your head – pretty or not – on your head, it is sending signals faster that your brain can process. The people who swipe on your profile pictures are picking up signals, all of them.

The neuroscience is fascinating. When someone looks at your profile picture, approximately 13 milliseconds is all it takes the brain to process your hairstyle. You are not misreading that. Thirteen. Milliseconds. Before they have registered what they are seeing almost certainly have prejudged options about your personality, your lifestyle, and whether or not you should be connected.

Dr. Alexander Todorov at Princeton studied impressions from faces. In his first impressions research at Princeton, he found reliable trait impressions could be formed from facial appearance in 100 milliseconds. Hair styling? The brain does this even faster, because it is processed as part of the overall "facial" identity before features are processed. Your hair is literally a preview to the main event. I want to ask you a question: when was the last time you genuinely took a moment to think about your hair for a dating profile photo? I mean really think, not just run your fingers through your hair twice and say, "That will do!"

The Psychology of Hair and Attraction

I know it sounds harsh and clinical but hear me out. Good hair (and by good hair, I mean hair that is maintained) communicates to potential partners that you have the time, resources, and self-awareness to take care of yourself. Here we have a hark back to human evolutionary biology, which means there is a good chance that our ancestors were able to gauge potential mates' health and vigor through physical signs, such as hair.

A study in the journal Human Nature found that hair quality was one of the top three features (physically speaking) for men and women when viewing potential dating partners. But what is most interesting is that it wasn't whether a person's hair was 'nice' or not; the important factor was whether it looked intentional.

Stay with me on this word intentional.

Because what people are doing in their brain when they see your photo is asking themselves, whether this person cares enough to meet the potential partner by trying. Your hair is already answering that question for you even if you don't send a message. Understanding what makes a man attractive starts with recognizing these subtle signals.

The Direction Principle

You know what will shift how you think about profile photos from now on? The direction of your hair literally impacts how someone sees your face. A study published in the journal Perception identified that hair pulled back from the face makes a person appear 30% more attractive than when hair is hanging towards the front or otherwise obscures the face. How can a hair style impact attraction? Human beings are hardwired to want to view faces unobstructed. When hair gets in the way, it creates a low level of anxiety in the brains of those viewing the photo, as their brains "work" harder to take in the image. That added cognitive effort is thought to be translated into lower levels of attraction.

Consider every iconic Hollywood headshot you have seen. You will notice that hair in all major headshots are styled to enhance the face, not obscure it. That is not a coincidence; that is neuroscience being applied to "look good".

Specific Action Step

Keep your hair always styled away from your face. For men with longer hair, style it back or off to one side. For men with short hair, make sure that the hair does not fall in your eyes, or across your forehead. Your face is your most powerful tool for connection – do not ever hide your face!

How Hair Texture Communicates Personality

Your hair texture expresses personality characteristics about you when viewed in a photo, whether you intended that meaning or not. If a photo shows smooth, sleek hair, then the person viewing the photo may already view you as sophisticated and in control. If you are showing a textured hair style that is slightly messy, it shows spontaneity while also showing you are friendly and offered to help. If a person has heavily and/or verse-styled hair, someone may think you are high maintenance (and sometimes we want this, sometimes we do not).

An interesting study published in the Journal of Cosmetic Science (excellently named!) studied how specific textures of hair impacted perceived personality traits. The researchers stuck to their conclusions, indicating that, when comparing participants with textured hair vs. people with either completely straight hair or hairs that were extremely styled, the textured hair received higher social ratings in trustworthiness and nearness. This is where things take a turn: the "best" texture is completely dependent on what you're looking for.

If you want to attract someone who values creativity and flexibility, you should go with a more natural, lived-in texture. If you are striving to attract someone who appreciates precision and clarity, you'll want a more polished look! Learn more about hairstyles that attract women to make informed choices.

Consider who you are trying to attract, and what that hair texture says about your potential compatibility with them?

Volume Creates Presence

No one talks about this: volume isn't vanity, it's visual real estate. More volume means more hair space takes up more visual space in the photo, which means you become more visually present to the person looking at your profile.

This also applies to the peak-end rule in psychology, introduced by Daniel Kahneman: people are paying attention to their experience primarily for the peak (the most intense moment) and the end (the closing moment). In this instance, volume is the peak – it is visual intensity that will catch someone's eye and make them stop scrolling.

Super flat hair will contribute to flat imagery, especially when you combine that with a flat background. Your profile simply gets processed and forgotten. Volume equals contrast which equals dimension which equals memorability.

This isn't to say that you need to backcomb all of your hair like it is 1985. What it does mean is that lifting your roots, adding a bit of texture spray, or even just blow-drying your hair upside-down will give your photo 3 times the visual presence over flat hair in a photo. If you have fine hair, check out our guide on how to add volume to fine hair for specific techniques.

Hair Color and Background Contrast

The color of your hair, versus your background, is more important than most people realize. Human visual system is designed to see edges and contrast. If your hair color connects or blends with your background, your head literally disappears into the frame at an unconscious level.

Research in visual perception have shown that high contrast images take 43% less time for our brains to process than low contrast images. Less processing = greater impression. Greater impression = more matches.

Simple rule to follow: if you have dark hair, wear light backgrounds. If you have light hair, wear dark backgrounds. If you have medium toned hair you can have the most flexibility, but still want high contrast – in other words, you want to see where your hair ends and the background begins.

Your hair color also conveys different things. According to a study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, darker hair colors are more likely to be viewed as mysterious and sophisticated than lighter hair colors, which are more likely to be viewed as friendly and approachable. Although it is unlikely that you could change your hair color overnight, you can think of it strategically. If you want to be more approachable, and you are a brunette, you should also smile more and position yourself where the light is warmer.

The Grooming Edge

This makes a huge cut and this is very immediate: visible grooming communicates conscientiousness, which is one of the Big Five personality traits and closely relates to success in relationships.

What I mean by grooming are the little things. Such as, a trim so the ends look healthy, not damaged or split ends. A clean hairline, where the hairline is trimmed and looks tidy. Baby hairs, or fly-away hairs, that are styled whereas random fly-aways create a halo around the whole head. These little micro details are processed by the brain at a subconscious level, which attributes to an overall impression of someone that has their life together.

In the Journal of Research in Personality found that crowdsourced conscientiousness predicted relationship satisfaction over time, more than a lot of other human traits. Grooming the hair around your face is a visual cue, a skim on conscientiousness, that operates immediately.

Get a trim before your photoshoot. Use minimal products, just enough to control the stray hair or fly-aways. A product like Da'Wax with its matte finish and strong hold can help you achieve that intentional, groomed look without appearing over-styled. Learn how to apply hair wax for the best results. If you regularly sport facial hair, clean up the transition between your facial hair and hair style, whatever that means to you but not accidental.

Lighting Makes or Breaks Everything

Your hair can look completely different in fluorescent bathroom lighting than sunlight at golden hour. Natural light, more specifically, the hour approximately one hour before sunset, tends to create the most dimension, shine, and natural highlights in your hair that artificial lighting cannot replicate.

Why? Natural light has a larger wide-range of spectrum, which means it displays more of your true colors and texture than artificial lighting. Artificial lighting flattens the image, devoiding living dimension out of the hair and totally flat.

Always ensure that you take your pictures outside, or in a well-lit room with lots of natural light from a window. Make sure you are positioned in the light a little out in front and above yourself (this will create dimension with natural highlights, and break up shadows on your face). Do not position yourself directly in to overhead sun, as to avoid shadows that are not flattering and make your hair flat.

Movement and Life in Your Hair

Rigid hairstyle, like helmet hair, is considered stiff and uninviting. Hair showing even a hint of movement indicates vitality and energy. You want to look like your hair is attached to a real human being who can move and breathe, not a mannequin.

This does not mean you need to have hair blown around by the wind, which often looks faked, anyway. It means that you have a few pieces that do not look tethered or glued in place. It means you have texture that indicates your hair moves when you move. This is why many stylists recommend hair wax versus traditional gel – wax provides hold without the stiff, crunchy finish.

One simple trick you can try is to have your photos taken in a series of shots rather than in one posed photo. Slightly move your head from side to side, laugh, look away and then back at the camera, etc. Your hair will naturally move and settle in a way that will look much more alive than a posed take. Choose the take where your hair has a natural movement but also can look intentional.

The Authenticity Balance

People have a misunderstanding about this part, you want your hair to look good – but you also need it to look like you so you can appropriately pass off a good first impression! If you show up to a first date looking completely different than your profile photo where your hair was perfectly salon styled, and you usually wear it long in an imperfect bun, you are now facing a trust problem before you've even said, "hello."

Psychologist Dan Ariely's research on online dating has found that small misrepresentations in people's photos lead to much worse first date experiences because the fish of imbalance creates cognitive dissonance for the partner. Their brain was expecting one thing but then got something else, which triggers a stress response. This relates to the halo effect – where initial positive impressions shape overall perception.

Style the photo where it's the best version of what you normally do. If you usually wear it up, wear it up – just make sure it has a good polish. If you wear it down, wear it down – just make sure it looks styled and healthy. For more dating-specific advice, check out our Tinder profile tips.

Taking Action

You've now got the information. Now you just need to go do it. Tomorrow, you're going to set aside 2 hours for you. You're going to wash your hair, intentionally style it following the principles I've shared, and you're going to take 50 photos with REALLY good natural light in different backgrounds and angles.

That actually sounds like a lot until you hear that professional photographers take hundreds to get the exact shot. You are not being egotistical – you are being strategic about something that can certainly matter for your romantic world.

Now review the possible photos critically. Which ones make you look the most like the energetic, attractive, intentional person you actually are? Which ones use your hair in ways that look healthy, have volume, and frame your face better than any other possible options?

Choose the top three. Show them to trusted friends or coworkers. Ask which photo would make people most curious about you. Then take note of the selected photo and watch what happens to your chances of matching with others over time. The Science of Attraction backs up everything shared here.

Your hair is not just hair! It is a signal, it is a statement, and it is a strategy. Use it as one.